the friends we have growing up have so much influence on who we are as adults. i can still remember the good times i had with my two best friends from elementary school, and i can’t imagine surviving middle and high school without the loyal band of outsiders that traveled the rocky roads with me.
i was lucky enough to go a small, prestigious private school for high school. even though many aspects of it were torturous at the time, i am very thankful for the education i received there. the student body, on the whole, was fairly homogeneous, and even though i checked most of the same boxes as my peers, i still felt like an outsider.
fortunately my best friend from middle school made the jump with me, and that would probably have been enough to see me through. but we were lucky to add several others to our posse. one of these was carlos. i don’t even have many memories of social outings without him in them.
as close as we were then, time and geography has distanced us since graduation. even though it has been a few years since we spent time together, our friendship never waned.
i am heartbroken to learn that carlos was found dead in his apartment yesterday. i don’t know the circumstances of his death, but it is painful for me to imagine that he might have died alone, without all the people that loved him so much gathered around him. my hope for him is that he went peacefully in his sleep, aware that he was valued and cherished. i know the world is a bit dimmer without his light.