A donut 

i haven’t been blogging about this, but the squirm is having a really hard school year.  all of the amazing progress he made last year somehow vanished over the summer and when school started i was back to having to drag him in the door kicking and screaming.

as much as i love his school, they aren’t really set up to handle behavior problems, and so i have been desperately casting about, trying to find something to help him.

it is amazing how our kids’ states of mind affect our own.  the squirm’s struggles have made me a basket case.  running all over town, seeing this professional and that, as much as it is the right thing to do, has not really helped either of us one bit.

so i added another thing to my list.  you know, the list of things you say you won’t ever do as a parent?  (i feel compelled to say that this is my personal list of things, and that i am not trying to criticize anyone else’s personal choices).  right after watch movies rated pg-13 (jurassic park), eat at mcdonalds more often than not (don’t say a word unless you have lived with kids with autism who eat only 4 things), i wrote: medicate my child.

apparently most medication is “off label” when you are dealing with a kid with autism and anxiety an20140615-174034-63634099.jpgd attention issues.  so the squirm has tolerated trials of medications and dosages.  since he isn’t good at discussing how he feels, i have had to try to observe any possible side effects and trouble shoot based on not much more than intuition.

too much medication and he stops eating, not enough and he flinches away from his classmates (all struggling with their own educational challenges), can’t pay attention in class, won’t participate or follow the teacher’s directions.  and i agonize over whether or not i am doing the right thing.

so when after a long and hard week, and a major meltdown at OT, the squirm said “i want a donut.  with chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles,”  you can be damn sure i found him that donut.


About phrogmom

kind of eccentric artsy type raising two boys in texas.
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3 Responses to A donut 

  1. redtail2013 says:

    oh Laura, I just found this, right before bed, and I am sobbing with empathy for you and Milo. I know you are at wits end and want so to help. All I can think is what I do whenever I or mine are threatened is to draw in and circle the wagons. Maybe we are all trying too hard to push Milo to succeed, and maybe we just need to slow down and try to make everyone calm and happy and moving forward at a pace we all can handle. I am so proud of your efforts, but maybe we should all step back & decide if we need to push this hard. After all, if we destroy the parent for the progress of the child, we haven’t progressed at all. xoxoxo

  2. rarasaur says:

    Of course you found it for him, because you love him. And of course he asked you, because he knows with total certainty that you do. Which is why everything’s gonna be okay. You’re doing all the right things. ❤

  3. Oh hun, I truly feel for you. We had similar problems with one of my monkeys last year ( hypersensitive, autistic traits etc. ) and we were back and forth to the hospital for therapy every 5 minutes. And man, when he went into one he really went into one…throwing furniture, and the language he was coming out with… We were all a nervous wreck. He wasn’t eating properly, which screwed with his diabetes, and most days we weren’t getting him into school. it wasn’t looking good.
    Long story short, after many many hours of home assessments and so on, he’s back to the adorable lil’ monkey he was before. And we’re a family again. Go get those meds! If Squirm needs them to make him happy then he needs them to make him happy. Life is short, if you’re given a way to make it happier for everyone then go for it!
    On a side note… glad to see you blogging again *hugs*

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