the persistence of change

i think it is probably commonplace for parents to study their offspring, looking for a glimmer of themselves within.  does he have my artistic bent?  is he a future musical savant??

when something unusual crops up, like autism, or other developmental issues, it is also probably common to look to oneself for the contributing genes.  there are some personality traits (ie: neuroses)  mr p and i have in common; discomfort in crowds, dislike of loud and annoying noises, fear of chaos, especially chaos involving crowds and loud, annoying noises.  whether the squirm inherited these traits from us, or just learned them, it is clear he shares our predilection to homebody-ness.

the therapists talk a lot about “transitions,” and i know both boys have been mentioned in connection with having a difficult time with them.  i am thinking i know which one of us that comes from!  *raises hand*

the persistence of memory, salvidore dali

i am not sure what it is about summer that turns me into a crazy mess, but something about lack of scheduling doesn’t work well for me.  it was much worse when i was a single teacher in houston.  there the days stretched, endlessly unstructured, until i couldn’t tell what day of the week it was.

obviously having mr p and the boys has helped to ground me in a lot of ways, but i still feel the same un-moored anxiety when the final school bell rings for the summer.  if i wasn’t an inhibited, uptight adult, would i react like the kids when my schedule spins out of my control?  it is sometimes tempting to throw myself on the floor and have a good wail.


About phrogmom

kind of eccentric artsy type raising two boys in texas.
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One Response to the persistence of change

  1. Narelle says:

    After working with kids with autism for a number of years, it is my belief that everyone has some traits of autism, or put another way, autism is an exacerbation of normal behaviours/sensitivities displayed by humans.

    I am sound sensitive. Even the radio is too overwhelming for me.

    I was just reflecting the other day how much more grounded I am having the kids around.

    From your posts, it sounds like you fill your days with lots of purposeful activity and make time to connect with your kids. Are you being too hard on yourself?

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