wrangling the girls, or acquiring an underwire

for my male readers, a word of warning, this is going to be a post about boobs, and maybe not in the romantic, sexy way, so you might want to just skip this one.

still here?  i will proceed.

i think it goes without saying (even though here i go saying it) that women often have body issues.  too big, too small, too wide, too narrow….whatever we got, we likely crave something else.

as a woman come late to motherhood, it was an interesting experience to use my body for something completely different.  i mean, i grew two human beings and then delivered them to the world.  i also magically generated the perfect food for them, dispensed it at will, at the perfect temperature.  and not just short term, for years!

did this make me love my body?  if anything it confused things.  how could i look at myself in the mirror and think “ick,” while at the same time being so grateful for what my body has done for me?

i have been pregnant or nursing for over three years now.  at 41 things are not as resilient as they once were, so you would be right to suspect that things might be a little stretched out and saggy.

it is somewhat bewildering to me that the girls could be simultaneously huge and flacid, but it is what it is.  what exactly is my point?  well, there was a recent and amazing deal on schnoop.  TWO playtex nursing bras for $15.  two for $15???  after 3+ years my nursing bras are shabby to say the least, so i jumped on that deal.

my FOUR (it was a really good deal, ok?) bras arrived lightning fast.  38DD (wow, remember when i whined that i was an A cup at 16?  those were the days) and underwire.  hmmmmm, underwire?  i used to wear underwires all the time right?  back in the day when i got dressed and went to work like a grownup.

i don’t remember it being quite this torturous though.  the girls have clearly been soft pedaled to too long and don’t really enjoy being lifted and separated the way they once did.  on the flip side though, people keep asking me if i have lost weight, maybe because my generous busom is closer to my neck than my bellybutton?

my other theory is that the wires are lifting the girls into such an artificial state of perkiness that a tent-like effect is being generated with my shirts, disguising my saggy tummy.

it also supports my suspicion that the more painful your beauty routine, your shoes, your support garments, the better you look to other people.


About phrogmom

kind of eccentric artsy type raising two boys in texas.
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17 Responses to wrangling the girls, or acquiring an underwire

  1. I can’t express how much I *LOVE* this post. The writing is funny, the pictures are superbly chosen…but most of all that wonderful wonderful pregnancy photo. Oh, how I wish I’d been brave enough to do that!

  2. kaet says:

    I still haven’t found ANY bras in my size since migrating. I had some nursing ones sent from the UK, but didn’t get the size right…

  3. hakea says:

    comedians do this, make everyday stuff interesting and funny, well the best ones do.

    a comedian here in Australia named Jimeoin wrote a funny song about what we keep in the kitchen drawers, i found it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpnxedNxK3o

    thumbs up phrogmom!

    • phrogmom says:

      i am sure someone could write something completely hilarious about what we have in our kitchen drawers! thank you for sharing the link and that you for reading!

  4. eof737 says:

    What a riot and you are a great storyteller! Your observations are spot-on; under wires do work their magic I must add.
    By the way,
    We did well. 20 brave souls signed on; do check them out and comment back… Awesome!
    Thanks again for linking up on the blog hop and see you soon. 🙂
    Have an abundant year!

  5. Pingback: Be my Buddy February « Post A Day Challenge 2011

  6. Stacey says:

    Great post, thanks for sharing. I hate even shopping for bras.

  7. nrhatch says:

    Funny! I wear running bras ~ no metal anywhere. But I’m not 38DD.

    Hope you’re enjoying the blog hop.

  8. Rosa says:

    I hate underwires! Why do they even put them in bras for tiny boobs? That’s one I never have figured out… Thanks for the laughs! I’m really enjoying this blog hop!

  9. tbaoo says:

    i’m sorry, but did you say you were pregnant for 3 years, wow that’s gestation 🙂

  10. Lisa @ Cents To Save says:

    I am past the child bearing years….. all the more reason to get a proper bra fitting:)

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