It is hard to get going again, but I’m trying.
photo by brandi field
i hope you will all forgive my extended on-line absence. i have been struggling quite a bit with my mental health, and one of these days i will write you all a long post about having a nervous breakdown, but i have to gird myself to face that first.
the squirt is actually doing really great, despite what this photo might imply. i was more trying to illustrate how i have been feeling. he is making great progress at william’s community school. they tell me he is flying through his goals. we have definitely seen more spoken words at home. he still doesn’t like it when i show up at school at an unscheduled time. next year i will have to hide when his turn for school pictures comes around.
the squirm is also off to a wonderful start. he had no problems at all the first week of school, and his new teacher was really pleased and impressed. cross your fingers for a super successful year!
The squirt helped me pack by getting everything out so we could inventory it.
Wait, that is something we do already…but finally it is time for our annual beach vacation!
I spent most of the day trying to find ways to avoid packing or cleaning, and I took the fur babies to the pet hotel.
To say they were reluctant might be an understatement.
i really don’t know what is wrong with me. some days, the moment i stop running at full tilt, i start crying. and i don’t mean the beautiful glistening tears way that man ray portrays it. i mean the ugly red puffy eyed, blotchy, snotty way that is hard to hide on the next errand you have to run.
i am still can’t decide whether my new medication isn’t working at all (and i am just really like this when not medicated) or if the medication is making me unhinged.
all of this is complicated by the reality of my day to day life. i am amazed and grateful for the positive impact my kids’ schools are having on their lives, but man i am tired of driving four hours a day, and sitting in the car for another six.
mr p is much better at the commuting thing. he is able to find a place to spend time while he is in town, and he manages to get work done. i float around aimlessly, uncomfortable being surrounded by people and noise and constant movement.
the good news is that i found an office to rent to use as a studio while i am in town during the day!! it is 5 minutes away from the squirt’s school, so i won’t be wasting time driving around. my step-mom has been calling this my “laura cave.” the office is definitely cave-like. a small windowless room off of a confusing set of hallways. but i am still super excited!
** sorry for the delay in posting this, i wrote it on the 28th of june and then it slipped my mind (something that has been happening to me quite a bit lately).
I can’t believe I just hit 1000 followers!!!! I don’t even know what to do. Should I do a giveaway or something? I feel like I need to perform some kind of act of kindness.
Happy Father’s Day to all of the men out there who love and nurture kids. And to the moms, who sometimes do double duty.
This was a challenging week for me in a lot of ways. Fortunately it ended with some good news and a few opportunities to brighten the days of other people I encountered.
I recently received a letter from Rara, who is still incarcerated awaiting her day in court. In her letter she mentioned that she has a long, thin rectangular window in her cell that looks out onto an interior hallway of drywall and insulation. On the other side of the hallway is an opaque window that is rumored to face outside. The only observable evidence is that the window changes color in a way that could reflect the sun’s movement through the course of the day.
I was writing her a return letter and had to draw her her own window. I hope it brings her and her cellies (roommates) a smile.